I have been thinking a lot about integrity lately. At school it is one of the behavior expectations that we request from our kids. When I first started teaching them what integrity meant, I was kind of confused myself. I mean, is it something that you can actually TEACH another person, or is it something that you are born with; something that, because of your upbringing, you inherit?
The way I explain integrity to my kids is this: "you should do the right thing, even if no one is looking." I tell them that if they throw something away and miss the garbage can, they should pick it up. No one tells them to pick it up, they should just do it because that is showing integrity.
This makes me question how much integrity we, as a people of the American society, really show integrity on a daily basis..which also leads me to question if we are not showing integrity, do we really have it?
Today I was marking the grass on our school field getting ready for Field Day. School had been out for a few hours, so there were no kids on campus. As soon as the kids across the street saw me, they came running over to the fence, climbed over it (we have a locked playground due to 'tagging') and proceeded to talk to me about the big day. Deep down, I KNOW the right thing would be to tell them that they could not come onto the playground/field because we have a locked campus....but I also can't help but think that this is 'their' playground. There are no other safe parks around the neighborhood and they see school as a safe place to play. I know that many kids slip under the fence to play basketball and I even noticed a hole cut in the fence so kids could climb through. Maybe this is an example of both parties not having integrity; me, because I didn't say anything and them because they came through the fence.
Does integrity come with age? When I was younger, I would write on desks, put my initials in wood and scrape away paint from a table. Is this a lack of integrity, or just immaturity? Now, as an adult, I would never do that. Did my integrity not take shape until I got older and even then, I have to question if I really have 'it'.
I guess it just makes me sad to think that many people in our world don't have integrity, or they do have it, they just don't show it. My principal had her wallet stolen while at a high end winery. Someone just picked it up off the table and walked away with it when she wasn't watching. Because of the lack of integrity in our country, she was then held at airport security for three hours as they asked her questions about her true identity.
On the other hand, another co-worker left her purse at Subway and when she called to see if it was still there, someone had turned it into the cashier. That gives me some hope that people still do mean well, but how often does that happen?
The other question regarding integrity that I have been pondering is what really defines integrity. If I hold the door open for the person behind me, is that integrity or just being polite? I know I should do it because society says I should. If a new mom drops her child's sock and you pick it up for her, is that integrity or just being nice?
So, with all of the questions that I have about integrity, how am I supposed to 'teach' my kids to just have it? It's a tough one.
